Sleep? HA!

MA-maaaaa!!!  Over and over and over.  This is what I am listening to from the upstairs bedroom as I type to avoid losing my patience with this child who has been up for the last hour (it is 6 am here now) and was awake at 12:15 am.  Last night he was up on and off from 3 - 4:30 am.
This is a dramatic improvement over the past 9 months.  He goes to bed much more easily.  He sleeps more.  He takes a 2 hour nap almost every day.  It is better.  The problem is that it isn't better enough. My husband is gone a lot.  A LOT.  His schedule isn't a schedule at all, more a hodgepodge of hours and days here and away.
I drove 1,200 miles for sleep.  Actually, my brother drove me and the kids 1,200 miles so I could get some sleep.  My husband drove me and the kids 1,200 miles back home.  Then I started sleeping in the guest room so that my sleepless child could hound my husband instead of waking me.  It works...when he is home.  He isn't home now.
Sleep deprivation is hell.  Literally.  It is the worst scenario in many ways for many people.  Everyone in my life is affected by my sleep deprivation.  Most of all the child who is also sleep deprived.  It has been very bad.  It is getting better.  I was hoping for a miraculous cure.  An overnight sensation if you will.
There are too many issues to distill is down to one or two things that could be affecting his ability to sleep all night.  I think he is just one of those kids whose central nervous system takes a long time to mature.  There have been indications of this from birth.  He is speech delayed which affects his ability to communicate effectively and our ability to be patient and to be responsive.  That is improving.  We have a wonderful speech therapist and occupational therapist coming now.
I did two weeks on Active Duty last summer in our previous hometown.  My older kids loved being on play dates with their friends every day. My youngest boys hated being away from Mommy with people they didn't remember.  Mommy was pretty stressed also.  Separation anxiety moved in to stay for the then youngest child.  About six weeks later he wasn't the youngest anymore.  I was at the hospital for two nights. (More on THAT story for another blog.)  My mother came and then left.  My husband left for five weeks when the baby was one month old and during that time we all got swine flu.  I think he just could't cope with all the changes and separations.  We still haven't reached even keel yet.  The baby is now six months old and Mommy is losing her mind.
Sleep deprivation makes you do stupid things.  It makes you crazy.  It makes you forget things like ordering a pizza to be delivered (to the neighbors) for your two oldest kids who are home alone while you drive across the city with a friend and your three youngest kids to the allergist to get one kid skin tested for severe hay fever and discuss the other's food allergy and LACK OF SLEEP.  It makes you say things like,"Fine.  Whatever you want." no matter which child is asking permission...for anything.
It makes you REALLY crabby.  Irrational.  Argumentative (as though I needed help there). Weepy. And, apparently prone to anxiety attacks.  Medications for anxiety say things like, "Habit forming. Addictive.  Sedative.  Do not operate large machinery.  Do not drink alcohol."  Where in there is the warning that caring for small children while stoned is also not recommended?  I passed on the drugs.
Since I now have a small child at my knee talking about doughnuts being YUM I think the show is over and breakfast shall ensue. Doughnuts are after lunch.  Oatmeal is up next.  And coffee.  So the next debate I have in my head on the way to the kitchen is how much caffeine (for me) is too much for the baby?